Rules. Today we flinch at the word, assuming that rules limit our freedom in an onerous way. However, when we see a game that interests us, we want to know the rules before we join in. We know the rules help make the activity what it is, and knowing them puts us at our ease when we take part.
The same goes for Traditional Social Dancing. Once upon a time, everyone in Scotland knew the rules—not just the steps to social dances, but the rules governing the dance events that helped ensure that everyone had a good time.
Some of the rules honoured the complementarity of the sexes. Boys learned their part in a dance, and girls learned theirs. Men asked women to dance, and women accepted or politely demurred. Men took care of their partners’ comfort on the dance floor (making sure they weren’t bumped by other dancers, for example), and women ensured their partners’ comfort by wearing clothing respectful of their community’s moral standards. (Of course, men also showed respect to their neighbours by obeying the dress code.)
Some of the rules fostered hospitality. Hosts and hostesses were expected make introductions, especially of people new to the community. Men were encouraged to ask many women, not just one or two, to dance. Women who turned down dances on the grounds that they were tired would not immediately accept an invitation from someone else. These rules also fostered generosity, kindness and community.
At Mrs McLean’s Waltzing Party, we honour all these rules. Our informal society grew out of the Coffee-and-Tea Hour offered after the 12 Noon Traditional Latin Mass at St. Andrew’s Ravelston, and it is itself both a form of, and a school of, hospitality, one that honours the complementarity of the sexes. Contrary to the prevailing fashion in the local dance scene, we don’t think men and women are interchangeable.
We usually meet once a month in a hall in Ravelston to take lessons in waltz, swing-dancing and/or ceilidh-dancing. We also organise twice-yearly ticketed dances with live music. In addition, Mrs McLean finds external dance events, including classes, that she thinks tradition-loving Catholics might enjoy if we attend together. Our monthly dance parties are donations-only.
We have received many graces from “following the rules.” Those of us who were shy are now less shy. The men are more confident in asking women to dance, and the women are more confident in their “Yes” or “No.” And we all can dance the waltz and several ceilidh dances. Some of us have become proficient at swing-dances, too.
The first big rule for Mrs McLean’s Waltzing Party is that anyone who wants to attend should introduce himself or herself to Mrs McLean before coming. Anyone under 18 should present written permission from a parent to attend (or have a parent contact Mrs McLean). Our Sunday dance party dress code is “church clothes.” Currently our regular attendees are aged between 38 and 12. Our events always begin with the Prayer to Saint Michael, our patron, and end with an anthem to Our Lady, our patroness.
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