Dancing lets our light shine

Re-establishing the norm that gentlemen ask ladies to dance (which takes courage and drive) and ladies wait to be asked (which takes patience, charity and hope) is controversial. It courts accusations of sexism and misogyny, and my confidence wobbled slightly when I watched a three-part documentary about a conservative Christian (or ex-Christian) commune in New Zealand.

“Escaping Utopia” is like a horror movie for Catholic traditionalists. To sum it up, an evangelical Protestant preacher founded a Christian community in a remote part of New Zealand, so that he and his flock could work and pray and leave the wicked world behind. Various backpackers from foreign parts joined willingly, and the community grew. The leader established 12 men to be his helpers in governing the community, and eventually the married couples had many children.

Then things got weird.

There were (and are) various weirdnesses, but the principal three allegations are that members of this community are convinced that they will go to hell if they leave “Gloriaville“, that women are very subordinate to men, and that everyone should be very open about their sexuality, even to the point of demonstrating how it all works in front of their children.

Say what? Super-strict Baptist-ish types who preach exhibitionist marital sex? Bizarre. And, unfortunately but inevitably, the combination of power imbalance, spiritual terrorism and sexual perversion has allegedly led to the sexual abuse of women, girls and boys, plus frequent sexual harassment of girls and women by boys and men.

So it would seem that, yet again, a closed Christian community not based on actual monasticism has totally failed and become an absolute nightmare. And because I organize dances and dance parties for Catholics that begin and end in prayer and involve my telling people what to do, I did some soul-searching about power, influence, and what messages I am personally giving people about the roles of men and women. There is also the question of self-interest.

“Why are you having these dance parties, Mrs McLean?”

“Well, Mrs McLean, I am having them to give the young people of our community, some of whom are homeschooled, the chance to learn a social skill and have fun in a friendly, somewhat structured, Catholic environment. The bigger dances are to bring the wider TLM community (and their friends) together.”

“Are you sure it isn’t just because you like to dance?”

“No, Mrs McLean, because my order of preference is organizing dance events, seeing friends and acquaintances dance, and then dancing myself.”

“This telling girls to wait for men to ask them to dance, Mrs McLean. Is that not forcing women into a passive, inferior role?”

“No, Mrs McLean, because they are not the vulnerable parties who have to summon up the courage to ask and risk rejection. The ladies are those who say ‘Yes’ or ‘No,’ those who have the ultimate say. And, meanwhile, as we still have many more gentlemen than ladies, I look upon the women of our community as royal patronesses whose presence or absence can make or break any one of my parties. Also, I make it clear that if they are ever disturbed by anything that happens, they should absolutely tell me.”

“Have you considered with due seriousness suggestions that partner dancing is a form of immodesty and licentiousness?”

“I have considered them, and I do not believe they are rooted in reality. The dances we do are too rapid and/or too complicated to allow immodesty or licentiousness to arise. Also, the atmosphere generated is one of companionable merriment, co-operation, or exhaustion.”

“That sounds right for ceilidh dancing, but what about that waltz?”

“False dichotomy. There are waltzes among or within ceilidh dances. And the primary challenge for the Christian boy or girl dancing them is not to step on his or her partner’s feet. Meanwhile, we do not dance waltzes in a close embrace. Even if we did, I think we would still be so intent on preserving physical safety that we would have no attention left over for illicit thrills.”

“But, Mrs McLean, on the other hand, by creating a safe-for-Catholics dance environment, are you not running into the danger of creating a terpsichorean “Gloriavale“?

“Absolutely not. First of all, nobody is compelled to come (although I admit to some pleading where the girls are concerned), and I do not hector or threaten anyone with hellfire if he or she stays away. Secondly, I have invited and welcomed Catholics who go to Mass outside our small TLM community. Some of our regular dancers go to their ordinary parish or university Mass. Thirdly, I have (and know I have) no authority beyond that of a hostess. And fourthly, Mrs McLean, dancing makes people more outgoing, not less.

“It is wonderful to see how young men without a turn for conversation eventually come out of their shells at dances. I mentioned this to a pair of veteran dance teachers, and they told me that they have seen this again and again. It’s part of the magic, as it were, of dancing. It helps, I think, that so much of our music is joyful.”

St. John Paul II famously said that “We are an Easter people, and [word we have buried until Easter] is our song.” By this he meant that we Christians are (or should be) full of joy and hope. Joy is our logical response to God’s gifts to us of life and creation, our redemption in Our Lord Jesus Christ, and His promise of future blessedness. Joy is thus also evangelical–and in more ways than one. People are attracted to joy, and there was a time (before the Second Vatican Council) when divines ordered Catholics to strive to be always cheerful in public and, when asked for the cause of their joy, to say it was their Catholic faith.

Well, it certainly should be. If your Catholic faith makes you miserable (either inside or to other people), you need a long talk with your parish priest or spiritual director. In fact, every Catholic should probably ask themselves once in a while if they are attracting people to the faith or inadvertently driving them away. The same goes double for small-and-quirky-looking Catholic communities like those that spring up around the Traditional Latin Mass.

It is Lent, and so I am not hosting dance parties or organizing fun evenings out at the jazz. However, this is not because there is anything wrong with dancing per se–no more than there is anything wrong with chocolate or humanely raised and slaughtered meat or modest amounts of wine. It is because Lenten is a period of penance and we are lowering the temperature under our pot of bubbling joy to focus on sorrow for our sins and offering sacrifices in reparation for them. However, when Easter comes, the heat will go right back up again and our joy will boil over into a new season of companionable traditional Catholic dancing.