Girl Shortage

When I was in high school I wrote short stories called “Man Shortage,” “Man Shortage II” and “Man Shortage III.” One of my characters anticipates Catholic Match and its competitors by calling out for a catalogue from which one could pick boys for dates.

Now that I think about it, it was also groundbreaking in that the stories featured girls just sitting around saying exactly what was on their minds, no matter how dumb or disturbing to my hip high school religion teacher, who really didn’t like this catalogue idea when it was published in the high school newspaper. The fact that one character frankly stated what her “type” was brought him to my lunch table to complain.

Good times.

I went to an all-girls school, which meant we felt entirely free to sit on the floor of the locker-lined basement hallway in ungainly attitudes, get extremely sweaty and gross playing various sports, openly paint our faces in front of magnetic locker-mirrors, and publish prophetic nonsense like “Man Shortage.” That it was Catholic meant also (among other things) that we were sought-after guests at dances hosted by the all-boys Catholic schools.

I wonder now how they got us to go. Back then I certainly didn’t think about this, for my friends and I were enthusiastic all-boys Catholic school dance attenders. It would not have occurred to me to miss, for example, a St. Michael’s Choir School Dance, and I recall actually willing myself out of illness to attend an eagerly anticipated soirée. Why? Dressing in dance clothes, going out at night, the panic that almost set in before spotting friends, the music, the dancing, and the meeting of new boys were very exciting. Really, “How did they get us to go?” seems to be the wrong question. “How could they have kept us out?” seems closer to the truth.

I ask these questions because–once again–men and boys outnumbered girls and women at my dance party. This time the ratio was 3:1. A new young man–a dance sport medalist (!)–was very surprised, for this is the exact opposite of what normally happens in ballroom dancing circles. Fortunately, our teachers and I had anticipated this and were able to arrange things so that all the chaps got to dance.

Maybe it’s time to volunteer to give a lecture to the cathedral youth group again. When I was predominately known as the author of Seraphic Singles, I was occasionally asked by respectable institutions to give lectures on vocations and/or amazing women like St. Edith Stein. Now I’m a tad more controversial. However, I do think it would be for the benefit of the archdiocese in particular, and of the Catholic Church in Scotland as a whole, if I convinced more young ladies to travel out to Ravelston to dance with our excellent young men (and boys).

I can think of a lot of reasons to convince priests and bishops why this is so (hint: demographics), but I need to convince young ladies. Frankly, as a young lady I was of a frolicsome disposition, so I would not have needed much convincing.

“Hey, you want to come to a free waltzing and Scottish ceilidh dance workshop? There will be some really nice boys there. They range in age from 12 to 36, but most are university guys. They all go to Mass on Sunday. Most wear jackets and ties. Sometimes there’s swing-dance, too. One of the altar servers is really good at the Charleston. This crazy foreign lady runs it all, but she’s nice. The other girls are nice, too.”

Is “Why is it free?” a cynical old lady question, or do young ladies think that way, too?

There’s a donations box, and some of the guys bring snacks. Also, Mrs McL is selling tickets to their big dance. University or college students get a discount, and teenagers get a big discount, but they have to bring their parents.

“Are they all Hungarian? I don’t want to be the only non-Hungarian,” a potential objection in the Toronto of my youth, is surely not an issue in the Edinburgh of 2025.

Well, I will have more of a think, and advice will be warmly welcomed. Happily, I am getting requests for tickets from young ladies from all over Scotland, so I am certain there will be GP (gender parity) at the Michaelmas Dance!